Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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