I love black thongs
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
