Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize