we have officially lost it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
