So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
