You made me cry and you don't even care
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
