You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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