At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize