"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
