Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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