my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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