okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I love you. Go after that dick
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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