so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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