Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
