Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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