shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
