I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
