You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Ladies don't puke and tell
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
