They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
