Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
