so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
