Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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