totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
