My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
