champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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