How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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