I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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