Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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