Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
