"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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