census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
