She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
