ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Boobs are out for the taking
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
