think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
