Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you had me at cake vodka
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
