There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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