If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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