before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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