remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You are the jesus of drinking
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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