he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
