arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
