I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
