mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
