He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
