he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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