went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
