I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
