Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize