Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Enjoy the penises
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
