wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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