Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
