why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
