If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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