Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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