wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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