therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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