yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
