Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
