I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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