omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Boobs are out for the taking
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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