i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
