do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
