Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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